What Would You Go Back And Say To 15-Year-Old You?

Pretty sure I’m more like 16 or 17 here but close enough!

Post 5 from the #LinkedInStoryChallenge

To see all the stories, head to my LinkedIn page. We’re given 30 story topics and share one per day over on LinkedIn. I’m not going to share all of them on here, just the ones that are relevant.

What would you go back and say to 15-year-old you?

Ooooh this is a big one.

Firstly - "Buckle up girlfriend, you're in for a hell of a ride"

Well, shit. I knew this topic was coming and I'm still not sure how much I want to say.

Moving on from yesterday, "What would 15 year old say to you", I said at the end that 15-year-old me had no idea what was coming.

So what would I say, if I could warn her?

Firstly, and most importantly - Take better care of yourself. Going for runs late at night in the middle of nowhere, with no streetlights and no phone is not a great idea. Yes, my parents knew I was going for a run and I guess it was different days in the late 90s.

But running late at night, mentally screaming "ball dress, ball dress, ball dress" and not eating anywhere near enough so that you can look good in your ball gown for a boy? No boy is worth that punishment and that particular boy was sweet, and had he known what you were doing for him, he would have been horrified as he was never "that person". Skinny is not everything. Eat some damn food. Trust me, you'll feel better.

Just because Nanna and your aunty have repeatedly told you that you're fat - do whatever you can to not hold onto that. Don't hold a grudge. They actually still do love you. Still dwelling on it in your 40s is not healthy. Do what you can to heal now.

You have a horse, spend more time riding him. You know how much riding and being around animals calms you - make the most of it.

You're not a numbers or science girl and that's ok. The physiotherapy thing isn't going to work out so don't waste 6th and 7th form destroying yourself failing Biology and Physics. They aren't your thing, and that's ok.

The 5th form maths teacher is about to tell you that you won't pass School C maths and you should do "remedial maths" next year instead. She was wrong about failing, but she wasn't far off.

Remedial maths is ok, and it's the last year you HAVE to do maths, so just do it and don't let her ruin your confidence. And stop calling it "Cabbage Maths". It's ok to not be good at everything.

Drill down on what you love. Words, storytelling, languages, and tourism. Double down on those instead. It's going to be ok if you don't do science and maths, trust me.

15-year-old Nikki? In a year or so you're going to get ridiculously sick. You're going to miss most of your final year of school. Your friend groups are going to change and your health is going to be affected long-term. 41-year-old you is still affected. You're going to miss so much school that you won't be accepted into University because you got to your Bursary exams and didn't have a clue what the fuck was going on in most of the exams and you just sat in most of them trying not to cry. You’ll do your best, but it won’t be enough, and all your friends will head off to University without you and you will feel like your life is over. It’s not, but it will feel like it.

You're going to get really sick, you're going to spend a LOT of time at home while everyone is at work and school, and you're going to be lonely as hell. There will be a lot of dark thoughts that take you by surprise, but push through.

You're going to be ok, but you need to find something you love to pass the time. You don't have the internet yet, and no cellphones for another couple of years. Do your art, sit in the sunshine, ride your horse. Don’t sit and dwell.

And 15-year-old Nikki? All those things that made you sad from 15-18?

As hard as it is, none of them are things you should hold on to. In 3 years, you're going to meet your soul mate, you're going to have a great life together, have amazing kids, and great friends, and things are going to turn out just fine.

So just enjoy life as a teenager and know that it gets better. Please don't be sad.